Disaster if Black President in Oval Office

"Have we learned nothing from the tragic events of 1998, when, under the watch of President Morgan Freeman, this nation was plunged into chaos, and hundreds of millions of people died at the hands of the deadly Wolf-Beiderman space rock?"

I thought I had made a logical case against Barack Obama becoming president. Well it seems I have wasted many hours thinking and writing when I needed only to read the Onion. As usual they have all the answers.